Just
In case you all were thinking that Battlecat isn’t getting updated because I am having so much fun that I’m too busy to write, well that ain’t the case. I get stressed far too quickly, I get bitchy or wall myself up in a silent glass castle and Dan is exhausted from trying to look after me. I could write about Russia and Mongolia, but it just might end up being a list of places and times I freaked out for no justifiable reason.
Being able to relax easily would make everything so much better.
I’m afraid of any challenge. Taking a risk, even meeting a new person makes me freeze up.
When the money runs out, which will happen sooner rather than later, I’m going to need to get a job. And that scares me so much.
I’m afraid to write. Not only on the blog but also in my journal which theoretically no one will read. What happens if it sucks?
I get caught up between the excitement of going to a new place, that thrill which comes when you step on to a bus or a train, and the fear that everything is going to be terrible the next place we go to.
I used to feel like I could conquer the world, but now I think too much about everything.
Now my mind feels somewhat constipated.
Feeling this way and travelling is not a good combination. But going home scares me more.
I really don’t know how to move forward.
My advice for what it’s worth: If you can, go home, or someplace like home, for a month and then head back out again. Going somewhere that feels grounding may help you recenter and also remind you of why you put on that backpack in the first place.
Hi Pip,
I think if you both take some time out to relax for a while things will get better. You and Dan have come so far in just three months, and he’s not well either, so I feel you both need a rest.
Hey, I feel the same when ever I have to write something. I was the world’s worst at procrastination, when it came to writing essays at uni, and could only do it when really under pressure of deadlines, no matter how much research and preparation I had done.
I have really enjoyed reading about yours and Dan’s travels, and have loved the photos from each of you.
Love, Terry.
Pippa, your words sound so familiar to me right now…. I just spent a good part of the long weekend in bed after having an emotional collapse… I’ve come to terms with the fact that seeking some counselling is a good idea. It’s hard to deal with when you own up to the fact that you can’t do it alone anymore.
Admitting defeat, or rather that things didnt go according to plan – is not a weakness. Talk to me soon and i will help in any way i can – there are people you can stay with in the UK and i will be there in about 7 weeks.
stubby x